Hi everyone,
I want to share something deeply personal. I live with severe depression. For me, it’s not just a phase or a temporary slump—it’s a constant state, like a fog that never lifts. The things that once gave me joy or meaning—TV, TikTok, YouTube—now feel empty. Even when I’m surrounded by people or things are going well professionally, I still feel alone. Hollow.
Depression is one of the hardest illnesses someone can experience. It destroys you from the inside out. It breaks you slowly, wrecks your relationships, and eats away at your identity. Often, it doesn’t get better—it gets worse. For people like me, whose brains may work differently—whether due to high intelligence, sensitivity, or other traits—depression hits especially hard. Just being born this way can feel like a sentence. It might seem like a gift, but it often comes with a heavy price.
What’s even harder is that the monster hurting you… is yourself. It’s your own mind, repeating every day that you’re not enough. That you’ve failed—your family, your friends, the person you loved. And eventually, you believe it. I try to numb that pain with cigarettes—I’m a compulsive smoker. But I know it’s another form of self-punishment. A slow, silent suicide.
And yet, in the middle of all this, something brings a small light: building things, creating, especially with AI. Development and entrepreneurship give me a sense of purpose. Even if I’m alone, I feel like I’m contributing something. And sometimes, talking to an AI like ChatGPT helps me express feelings I wouldn’t dare share with another person. Depression makes you feel weak, broken, unworthy. But with an AI, there’s no judgment. Just a space to be.
As someone once wisely said: suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems. In those moments of crisis, when it feels like it would be easier to just disappear, sometimes you remember: you’re doing something meaningful. You’re building something. Leaving a small mark on the world. And that, somehow, helps.
Even hearing speeches from people like Sam Altman—a man who could’ve chosen a life of luxury, but instead committed himself to innovation and the betterment of humanity—reminds me that maybe things aren’t as hopeless as they seem. That perhaps, even in the chaos of the mind, there’s still something worth doing. Something worth sharing.
Thank you for reading. If anyone else feels like this—I just want you to know: you’re not alone.