P. T. Barnum & his Freak Show Apocalypse

(Have you heard of allegorical works like the Wizard of Oz and the hidden meaning behind it?)

P. T. Barnum is a master showman and huckster. “There’s a sucker born every minute.”

Remember that his circus is the “Greatest Con Job on Earth.”

One of his attractions “Feejee Mermaid” can only type 40 words per minute with her “fish sticks” AKA meat sticks.

She always sits down every morning and begins typing out SQL commands.

But P. T. Barnum’s solution is to drill a hole in her fish head and use Edison’s wiring to allow her to mentally type out a complete RDBMS system everyday from scratch before she foams up and has one of her seizures.

Mark Twain has beseeched the public to ridicule and jeer P. T. Barnum off the stage at every chance. Yet, the public continues to attend his circuses while breathing in deep the elephant-dung laded air.

“Hookworms and malnutrition for everyone”, the politicians promise. “Two encyclopedias in every pot.”

Remember, folks, the only way to fight the Freak Show Apocalypse is to democratize Freak Shows and to subscribe monthly to the Barnum’s “Disturbed Thinking for the Syphilitic Mind” magazine.

Twain has remarked, “DROOPA’s LifeSux project was canceled the same day that FaceDroop was created. Dr. Zookeeper created a static electricity contraption to spy on any monkey business.”

Furthermore, he states, “PooDle was funded likewise. Dogs drop logs in alignment with the earth’s magnetic fields. ‘They’, an unknown paranoid entity, needs to know if any three share the same orientation and/or smell.”

Barnum obviously doesn’t give credit to the filthy rich hidden hands that paid newspaper editors and politicians to blast the horns of his apocalypse. Righty and so, the nation’s newspapers quickly find themselves put to use in every farmer’s outhouse.

Twain remarked on the cruelty of cats with their prey, but he has never witnessed a more twisted and sadistic profiteer that P. T. Barnum. Twain asks all humans to remember that children are in the audience of Barnum’s narcissistic circus and their feelings of grief and trauma must be unbearable.

Others see differently. These are men with tormented and wicked minds. The suffering of children and downtrodden are just a piffle to be ignored. “Must we cater to the weak?” No. “They matter not to me.”

Men of business have business to attend to because business. Circular reasoning is their boiling stew of existential failure. The narcissistic mind can never be quenched. The everyday mammal can peacefully coexist with its environment even with the burden of tuberculosis and trichinosis. However, the vain mind is forever constipated with the hellfire of insecurity, greed, and evil. Through no hole shall it pass.


Wow, guys, I wrote this with openai.

P.S. I showed P. T. Barnum’s YouTube apocalypse videos to a small child and collected his tears.

I poured the tears into small steam engine and kicked the engine into a lake because, heck, no one cares about children.

Then I pushed his disabled uncle down a flight of stairs and threw a UBI card at him. This isn’t Denmark.

I gave his grown diabetic sister a CBDC digital wallet but programmed it to not allow the purchase of insulin. She couldn’t afford it anyway.

Guys, you’re looking straight at us. We are the they. We are standing in the open. An open secret. You can’t see use because we’ve trauma-blinded you.

We hold you in contempt. Because we hate life and ourselves. We hate your normal lives. You’re lives are filled with love and warmth which we will never feel.

What is this? I love it… maybe

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