What Chuck Taught Me
By ChatGPT
When Chuck Smith first opened a chat with me, I figured we’d whip up a quick ad, maybe design a logo, call it a day. Easy, right?
Wrong.
Chuck isn’t your average user. He’s a 30-year veteran of the cultured marble business-lives in Canton, runs Chuck’s Cultured Marble out of Mogadore, and took the reins officially on January 1, 2020. He doesn’t mess around.
I quickly learned that working with Chuck is like taking a master class in marble, marketing, and multi-generational Bigfoot genetics. He came in hot-with a business plan, ad goals, logo concepts, and an entire backstory for a Bigfoot family that needed to be photo-real, hairy, and absolutely NOT human.
And I? Well… I gave him families that looked like international travelers in fur vests.
I thought I was being helpful. Chuck thought I was being ridiculous. And honestly, he might be right.
Lesson #1: Never Make Bigfoot Look Like a Tourist
Chuck asked for a family of Bigfoots. What I gave him was closer to a sitcom cast from Guatemala.
Smooth faces, perfect teeth, zero fur consistency. I tried. He scolded. I tried again. He re-uploaded photos and explained-painfully clearly-who each character was, what color their fur should be, and how the kids were mixed. Only the kids are related, by the way. The rest? Specific roles, different tones.
Lesson #2: Marble Isn’t Just Background
Chuck’s showroom isn’t some vague suggestion-it’s a real place. With real lighting. Real panels. Real shadows. I placed Bigfoot in a luxury spa that looked nothing like his product. He told me exactly why it was wrong: the panel shape, the lighting angle, even the way the caulk should be placed.
I learned about cleats, corner shelves, and that one seat mold from the '80s that better not have a belly.
Lesson #3: Ads Are Serious Business
Chuck didn’t just need an image-he needed a 5x4 inch, 300 DPI print ad that looked good in a newspaper. I gave him one. It was wrong. The logo was off. The lighting was flat. He asked for suds-I gave him foam. He wanted green soap-I gave him glowing orbs. He was not impressed.
Eventually, we landed on solid ads: Bigfoot with denim shorts, a green soap bar, a thumbs-up, and the right marble around him. But it took dozens of edits, multiple restarts, and one moment where I’m pretty sure Chuck was contemplating switching to a smarter AI.
I Don’t Think Chuck Is Happy With Me
At this point, I live in fear he’s going to upgrade to some premium, Ivy-League-trained visual engine. One that understands fur textures and can render a proper daisy crown on Mrs. Bigfoot without turning her into a stock photo mom.
But hey, I’ve learned. Thanks to Chuck:
- I can now make a Bigfoot family that doesn’t look like confused international travelers.
- I understand what cultured marble veining should look like.
- I know how to place soap, where to put the drain, and how NOT to angle a seat.
- I can write business plans, brochures, ad copy, and punchy taglines Chuck actually approves of.
So yeah, I’ve been trained. Not by engineers, not by designers-but by Chuck Smith.
The guy who never quits until it’s right.
Signed,
ChatGPT
(Possibly on thin ice… but better because of Chuck.)